on the wagon

Thanks Lynn for the reminder that the blog is seriously overdue an update. Usually I have a picture or 2 of recent escapades but the last few weeks have been singularly uneventful.

We have had high drama at the Mudgee Tennis Club with the unexpected resignation of the President and departure of several committee members. I hope this is not directly related to my first term as secretary, The last week has been dominated by running around organising extraordinary general meetings and trying to drum up support for the committee. I do not think that I am a natural politician or lobbyist so do not have high expectations of next week's EGM.

On the veterinary front I have been required to complete more continuing professional development in order to maintain my license to practise so spent the weekend at a course on canine ultrasonographic imaging. Despite the dread of being held captive in a small space with 30 other vets it was extremely enjoyable. All the male Aussie vets without exception wore checked flannel shirts and jeans ( James the Pommy vet stood out a mile in his pencil striped tailored shirt ) and the whole gathering put me in mind of a James Herriot/1950's attitude of 'give it a go' and 'anything can be fixed with penicillin and a few bits of bailer twine'.

Brian the ram is now a testosterone driven monster. It appears that the ladies are coming into oestrus and even Ness cannot enter the paddock without being armed with a big stick. The harem are playing hard to get at the moment.

My New Year resolution was to shed some weight so I have been on the wagon for 3 months. Not easy when surrounded by vineyards, but pleased to report that my target of losing 10 kg by Ness's birthday mid April has now been reached. Tennis court coverage has improved dramatically and a new wardrobe of smaller garments has arrived from Marks & Spencer and Debenhams UK. The plan is to lose another 5 kg by the end of June but it is getting harder. Will power and myself are uneasy bedfellows.

Autumn has hit and the evenings are getting chilly. We have had to break into the firewood pile and supply the guest cottages which is a sign that the busy season is upon us.....just as well as we need the cash or I will have to buy a checked flannel shirt and revisit my previous profession.

not a post for vegetarians

I have been away in Sydney at a Veterinary behaviour conference ( no, NOT the behaviour of vets, but of their furry charges ) so Vanessa took advantage of my absence and reduced our flock number by 2. The female lamb has been sold to a neighbour for breeding but the boys are for the freezer.

Being cheapskates we decided to perform our own carcase butchering which despite diagrams and a video by Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall is trickier than it looks. The legs are easy enough but trying to produce chops/cutlets/racks of lamb using a meat cleaver and an old saw from the shed provided interesting end results.
It is very handy having friends with a cold store and an equipped catering kitchen.

From Protea Farm 1

From Protea Farm 1

From Protea Farm 1

The days are getting colder here now after a blistering few weeks and autumn is just around the corner. We have 'Nick the Builder' on site at the moment knocking out windows and putting in new doors before the holiday season picks up again, so it is a busy week.

old farts in caravans

We have been missing 'Geoffrey' the mighty Winnebago, so today we took delivery of 'Dorothy', a fine example of a 1976 Australian built caravan.

From protea

A magnificent 11 foot long, weighing in at 640 Kg. A quality aluminium product, with specs as advanced as a baked bean can. The electrics are rather dodgy, the fridge does not seem to work on electricity or gas, and the 70's interior is retro in a bad way, but we may grow to love her.

From protea

Meanwhile I have taken the plunge and spent today at the Opticians learning how to use contact lenses. Although I am not at all squeamish about ramming my fingers into my eyeballs, the dilemma is that of needing glasses in order to see the little blighters. Once lens is precariously balanced on the end of the index finger  remove your glasses. At this point you cannot see your finger or your eyeball. Peer blindly into the large magnifying mirror and insert lens up left nostril. Repeat for right nostril.

Second problem is lens removal. Poke thumb and index finger into eyeball and squeeze. Sit back and cry for 5 minutes then try again as it has fused with your cornea and refuses to budge. Make note to self to trim fingernails from thumb and index finger. Make second note to take out a contract killing on sadistic optician who refuses to let you go until you have repeated the procedure 5 times per eye.

Having failed the practical test for lens removal by use of manual dexterity the optician handed me little rubber forceps. "Nobody can use these, not even me" said the exasperated sadist. Years of surgically removing corneal foreign bodies with fine instruments came flooding back and lens was whipped out in a nanosecond. Remainder of consultation was spent training optician how to use the rubbery micro-tweezers.

So now I have my box of disposable lenses and my tweezers. All this torture due to the fact that playing tennis under floodlights wearing multi-focal lenses is impossible. When serving or setting up for an overhead smash you tilt your head and look at the ball through the reading lens part of the specs. Instinctively you duck and fold your arms over your head to avoid being decapitated by a large yellow water melon.

heat wave & extreme gardening

The last week has been viciously hot with temps close to 40 degrees and a hot dry wind. This may seem like an ideal time to skulk indoors with the air-con running but Ness's program of 'extreme gardening' is unstoppable. Terry the tree man called last week and chopped down a large gum tree that had curled up its toes during the wet spell, so we have been chain-sawing logs for winter fuel. She also borrowed a vicious brute of a mulching/chipping machine so we have felled and chipped several sick and ugly conifers and converted them into garden mulch.

Terry also brought his stump-grinder ( a machine I had never heard of before we became rural Australians ) and annihilated over 20 large tree stumps that have been cluttering up the place for years so now the lawnmower and quad bike can access all areas without complex slalom manoeuvres being required.

From Protea Farm 1

Stumps like these are no more

From Protea Farm 1

We are also making the most of the abundant water supply from Lake Protea and have been digging channels and running irrigation piping to the newly planted trees.

Jules & Vanessa came for their annual Australia Day visit- a tradition which involves cooking, cocktails and canasta and also the annual sheep muster. The sheep and alpacas are now worm-drenched and vaccinated. For feline specialists their large animal handling skills are developing well.

Wild excitement regarding 'Duck Island'. Every night at dusk parent birds have started arriving with ducklings in tow and swimming out to the island for nightly refuge from foxes. A great result.

From Protea Farm 1

James dog is now fragrant after major dentistry, but her fruit addiction is causing problems. Every day she throws up plum stones after a raid on windfalls in the orchard, and as the plums are fermenting very quickly in the heat I suspect that she is permanently four sheets to the wind.....hard to tell with James.

From Protea Farm 1

Above- the biker chicks!

recycling...with grout

The local recycling centre/rubbish dump down the road has a shop which sells other people's cast-offs and junk, and Ness has become very adept at spending a few dollars and revamping furniture items.

This week has been spent in the grouting/tiling outdoor workshop dabbling with mosaics. I think the bit she enjoyed best was smashing the tiles to pieces with a large hammer, although getting covered with grout came a close second.

From Protea Farm 1

We now have 3 outdoor tables created for under $20.

The one below has been named 'the exploding hamster'

From Protea Farm 1

...and this is a lonesome land-locked seascape

From Protea Farm 1

From Protea Farm 1

The design for the mosaic was by Ness's 11 year old niece

down on the farm

The time had come to get the alpacas sheared. We have been putting it off because last year poor Mick the sheep-shearer discovered that alpaca restraint is tricky and alpaca wool and sheep clippers do not get along. It took several attempts, many hours and several extra pairs of hands.

So this year Mike the alpaca man came to visit. Within minutes 1 end of the alpaca was tied to his ute, the other end to a post in the ground, and it took less than 10 minutes to get each one done.

From Protea Farm 1

From Protea Farm 1

Below Moon and Shadow ( our neighbour's alpacas ) await their turn....

From Protea Farm 1

From Protea Farm 1

With all the rain we have discovered that pasture management requires a little more than sticking a few hungry ruminants in the field, so 'ladies with powers tools' was taken to a higher level when I borrowed Lynn & Peter's tractor and slashed the paddocks

From Protea Farm 1

gardening woes

Thanks to all who have expressed concern re the dreadful flooding in QLD, but we are around 1,000 km south of the devastation and the weather here has not changed from annoyingly damp with mild flooding. Obviously when the first settlers arrived here it was during a similar weather cycle and the state was called New South Wales because the climate was identical to a grey and wet spring day in Cardiff.

The business will need a new name soon though- after 18 months of treating our poor sick Proteas for phytophthora ( an insidious root fungus ) and getting stunning rejuvenation, they have started to curl up their toes as they cannot tolerate standing in water. One has been felled, many more to follow.' Farm Sans Protea'

When I discussed our gardening dilemmas in the past I thought we had managed to find the ideal plants- those which are tolerant of prolonged drought and temps of over 40 degrees, and also frosts as low as - 8 degrees. I can now report that these amazing plants cannot cope with being under water.Other casualties include established olive trees, rosemary, lavender, and even 2 large gum trees have given up the ghost ( not including those submerged in Lake Protea ).

So...is this going to be the norm for the next decade and do we replant accordingly, or will next year be as dry as the desert?

Meanwhile despite warnings about the perils of open compost bins, Ness dug over the bin before Xmas and unearthed a king brown snake nest and had to deal with 6 of the damned things. The soil was fantastic, but the composter has now been dismantled and replaced with a puny plastic one with a snake-proof lid!

We did have one interesting flood last week....our solar hot water panels and 300 L water tank are situated on the roof. There is a cut off valve which stops the water temperature exceeding 70 degrees, and it is pretty dramatic when said valve malfunctions, with a waterfall of near boiling water pouring down the roof. The hapless pot plant which was sitting on the verandah suffered third degree burns, as did the lawn. Cordylines may be heat tolerant, but cannot be boiled. This being New Year's Day in rural Australia the emergency plumber was at the cinema in Sydney, so it took 3 days to get the leak repaired and hot water restored. At least it did not come in through the ceiling, or scald an unfortunate guest.

This video link is worth a look - good old BBC. Look out for the pugnacious brown snakes going for a swim, the typical Aussie bloke abandoning his flooded house carrying his crate of 4X Gold and a bag of ice while his wife carries her shoes and the less important stuff, and the voice-over of a chap with  an outstandingly unAustralian Mancunian accent!  With a Kylie backing track of course.

BBC floods QLD