Saturday, April 25, 2009

the management

As a tourist one of my pet hates is the overuse of officious laminated signs from 'The Management' in accommodation establishments. Caravan parks are the worst, with signs berating you for minor infringements that you may be about to contemplate, such as leaving the lights on, not flushing the toilets, breathing noisily after 10 pm etc

The problem is that these days everybody has access to a printer and a laminator so these signs breed and increase in numbers- you can imagine an aggrieved establishment owner bashing the keys after a bad day and creating another printed admonishment. There are also the utterly pointless signs, such as 'light switch' next to the light switch. What is the point of those?

BED- PLEASE PLACE HEAD ON LUMPY THINGS AT THIS END.

We are trying to be 'management signs' free. I am sure that they spawn through negativity and petty mindedness.

DUE TO THE LACK OF CONSIDERATION FROM PREVIOUS GUESTS WE ARE NO LONGER ABLE TO BE PLEASANT OR COURTEOUS. WE APOLOGISE FOR THE INCONVENIENCE.


In fact I rather like the idea of having a series of completely surreal signage instead.


THIS CUPBOARD MUST NOT BE USED FOR DAMASK TURTLES
AS THEY MAY IMPLODE.



WILL GUESTS PLEASE NOTE THAT SUCKING SHERBET LEMONS MAY
CAUSE DYSPEPSIA IN GIRAFFES.


All is well down on Protea Farm- no room at the inn and no complaints from the guests.
Yesterday J & G and the kids came over to christen the tennis court. The surface is somewhat erratic and needs a lot of watering and rolling to reduce the number of comedy bounces, and I am going to look into having it resurfaced in a sand/carpet combination. I expect it may be too costly but feel obligated to contact the company who specialises in them if only because they are called 'Kangaroo Courts'.

It was a very surreal moment when I was about to serve and had to wait until a huge Eastern Grey kangaroo passed behind the receiver. Tennis in the bush!

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